I got the MRI for my cervical spine injury at the beginning of December and it turns out I have bone spurs on the left side of my neck where the pain is. We don't know what caused it and it's actually quite a puzzle to the doctors because I'm so young (most people get bone spurs in their 40s-50s) and it's in an unusual place and I didn't have any traumatic injury (that we know of.) For something so small that didn't show up on an x-ray is so incredibly painful. So we thought it was muscle, then disc and now we know it's bone on bone rubbing together in a horrible way.
I was doing Christmas Carol during this time and it took every fiber in my body to produce enough energy to do that show. It was really quite a wonderful show, the cast was great and I made a lot of new friends. Everyone was supportive of me and hopefully no one thought I was being lazy or anything. I was taking A LOT of Tylenol and Ibeprofun just to get through the day, sometimes two shows a day. And what happens when you take that much medication? Dry vomiting and rebound headaches. Lots of horrible headaches and stomachaches. It was the never ending cycle... neck pain, take meds, nausea and headaches, meds wear off, neck pain returns.
After the show ended, the following Monday before Christmas, I went in to see my Primary Doc and ended up having to talk to a stoic PA who asked me my ENTIRE history with this and I just had to recount every little detail, which I was not expecting "What medicine were you taking when you got the massages?" "How long did you do PT?" "What did they do?" "What dosage did you take after that?" "And then what did you do?" "And THEN what meds did you take and which dosage?" And it just went on and on and on and I started to get more and more anxious. I wanted to scream! Like, Lady I have no idea how many tylenol I have taken every week, I just know that I don't sleep more than 2 hours at a time and I'm constantly in pain when I lie down and exhausted and can barely function as a normal human being and no one seems to know how to fix me! So I got a referral to the Orthopedist again.
And I just started crying on the walk home, bawling into my sweatshirt. I wanted to sleep but I couldn't relax. I collapsed on the floor of my living room and had a complete panic attack. It was the first time in a few years that that has happened to me. I was in so much pain and Christmas was just a few days away and it just seemed like nothing made sense anymore. I called Braden and he came home and consoled me in my tearful heap. My dad came over afterwards and took me grocery shopping. And a full cart from Trader Joe's always makes me feel a little bit better.
Tuesday and Wednesday, at the crack of dawn I met with the Orthopedists. The whole story was recounted to them and the top doc of spinal injections suggested I have one. At this point, I wasn't even afraid of the needles and risks, anything to rid me of the pain. But I wouldn't be able to be scheduled until after the holidays , so he gave me some Vicodin to get me through the next couple of weeks. That made the holidays a lot more bearable. Less pain and no nausea. So I was much more pleasant at Christmas and Christmas turned out to be quite enjoyable. Braden got an Xbox 360, I got a new laptop and some lovely clothes from Anthropologie and I made everyone cookies and Bellini mixes and put them in baskets with champagne.
We had our engagement party at our parents friends' house at Governor's club. Their house is out of Architectural Digest and I felt like a movie star in my new party dress. After all, it's not every day you have a party thrown in your honor. It was so exciting to see my family and all my friends from high school and college, some I haven't seen in almost a year, and Braden's friends all dressed up and mingle together and support us in our union. The catered food was fantastic too. After the formal party, everyone came back to our much smaller house (seriously, our house could fit in the Lacefield's foyer) for games and drinks. It was the happiest I've been in a long long time, I have to say. I was beaming the whole night. A glowing light in the middle of dark dark month. |
| Amy, I'm gonna photoshop you in next to the plant. It just wasn't the same without out our PTP Naked Chef! |
Last Wednesday, I had the spinal injection and even though I was on local anesthesia, it was no walk in the park. I got very anxious in the hospital room...I think it's the IVs, they are always so cold, so they gave me this narcotic lollipop thing and boy I went from anxious to loopy in about 10 minutes. I never imagined Braden would see me in a hospital before we had kids, but he was there to support me and it made me feel really good. I wish he could have been by my side in the injection room though. It felt like they were taking a drill gun to my neck.
After the injection, I felt a little sore but relief. They said it would take a few days so I waited...waited...waited...and I didn't feel better at all. The stabbing pain was still in full-force and sleeping was a nightmare. I would get an hour or two, have to take a pill, get nauseous, hopefully get another hour and just try and try to get some sort of rest. But how can you rest when laying down is the mots painful??? Back to square one. I was out of Vicodin. The Ortho sent over a new prescription of Vicodin but somehow it didn't get through to the pharmacist's. I must have looked really pathetic because the young, very pierced pharmacist said "I'm sorry. You look like really need it." Boy was my mom livid that it didn't get sent over. We were able to get some from a family friend doctor who works in the pain management clinic at Duke so I guess I'll be okay for tonight. Thank goodness.
So what next? Well we're trying to get all my papers and reports sent over to the Spine Center at Duke so they can have a look at me. There's a waiting list to get in, but knowing how persuasive my mom is when she's on a mission, I could be in tomorrow. lol. I might have to have surgery so they can shave the spurs off, I just don't know, and it's all a little intimidating. The worst part is, I want to be planning my wedding and finishing my grad school applications and working and saving money, but I am just unable to physically focus and do those things. I want to get better...I don't want to be in pain week after week and get addicted to Vicodin. It's scary stuff. But if I could feel like my old self again, that would be a prayer answered.
If you get addicted to Vicodin, you could be like House. I mean, you already have the awesome snarky comebacks down.
ReplyDeleteYou won't, though. You're smart enough to keep an eye on your intake and try to find long-term solutions, which I hope you get soon.
I miss you. Feel better.