Have I said too much? Is there nothing more I can say to you?

It's amazing what you can get done when you're practically bedridden on pain management medication. You can finalize your wedding guest list and your registry. You can make and cancel the dozens of doctor's appointments. You can reorganize your iTunes. You can respond to all the emails you've been avoiding You can read plays and order some online on Amazon.com (whoops) You can watch the entire 2nd season of Parks and Rec and laugh your butt off. And sometime in there you try to sleep when your not smothered by headaches and when your neck doesn't feel like it's being stabbed constantly.

I had my biopsy on Monday. I had to get blood work done first and because they told me not to eat or drink any water, I was completely delirious. Now, I'm a prideful gal but a wheelchair was necessary. I had a little snack after the blood work and Aunt Wendy came down from Greensboro to support us. She used to be a nurse in neonatal so I'm glad she was there. Then I went into the biopsy prep with Braden and I guess I missed the memo about not eating for the biopsy because I was supposed to be sedated, but because I had eaten they couldn't do it. That scared me a little to have another local. There was lots of praying and tears and tender kisses between Braden and I. He is my rock. So the biopsy doctor was very kind and gentle...he did offer me lots of pain meds through the IV. It was uncomfortable being in the CT scan machine and there was lots of sore pressure, but not as painful as the spine injection. Good thing I had taken some valium because I was just thinking of me playing Musetta and babbling to the nurse about the wedding.

The cells they found were "suspicious" which could mean a number of things. We just don't know. Now we're just waiting for the pathologist to analyze them...and all this waiting is the hard part. There were some tears, but we're all trying to stay strong day by day. The spot on my neck where they clipped the cells is very VERY sore and hard to sleep on.

I've been receiving an outpouring of love and support from blood family, friends, and all of my theatre families. :) Despite all this, I pulled through Evita strongly and we pulled off a great show. I'm so proud of being a part of it. As Patrick said, "you were in agony the whole process, and yet you were passionate and professional every single night." So I guess that says something about commitment to my craft. Even La Diva Carolina Lynda Clark has adopted me as one of "her girls". She is gonna coach me on some monologues when I am on the mend. I made a lot of new friends and professional contacts and mentors during this show. It was all worth it.

Becca "Evita" and I hoofing it during the Buenos Aires number. She was the kindest most gracious antii-diva but boy did she have some PIPES!

Even though this horrible medical incident is happening to me, in a way, I feel like it's put my life in a focus. It's given me a sense of drive, a sense of planning, and sense of not getting every little desired detail of life right is okay. If there's anything I have learned, you cannot plan for life, but boy it does make you re-evaluate what's important to you and how you have to be strong, even in the bleakest moments.