Even when I lose, I still win.

Right now, I'm temping downtown. Which means I get to train myself in a variety of office grunt work skills such as building MS word templates and filing and making double-sided copies. And while it can be somewhat disenchanting being a 20-something temp, I have to remember that lots of people became successful inspite of their insepid temp work.

- Ryan from "The Office" - Mostly just succeeds with impersonating the latest business trend. Right now I think he's somewhere between Gordon Gecko and hipster office chic.
- Tanya (Jane Adams) from "Hung" - Oh, to rampage on my co-workers by screaming "I'M A MOTHERF**KING PIMP!" Woman, you and your mousey resolve continue to inspire me.
- Julie Powell from "Julie and Julia" - Hey, she got a movie and second book deal. And she was an actress! And not only that, the only real person on this list.

I guess I'm not proving my point by coming up with fictionalized characters. The truth is people don't like to read about losers who continue to lose. No one wants to watch the movie where the temp is still the temp at the end of the movie, unless the director is trying to make some point with dramatic irony.

Tonight my voice lessons start up again. And so begins the home stretch towards grad school. And after admitting my fear, I am ready to buckle down and pursue this bitch. I don't care if my social contacts are weak or that my last batch of auditions resulted in nothing. It is so hard to disegard feelings of insecurity but well...I don't have a choice.

Life is young. And when you work downtown, you quickly realize that there are peopel wandering around that have it so much worse than you. I'll refrain from ghetto stereotypes, but even when I lose, I still win. In little ways. For example:

- I have a fiance (who, among other things, loves me sincerely and doesn't beat me)
- We have some inspired wedding plans and honeymoon plans (you can read about them here: http://www.ginnyandbraden.blogspot.com/)
- I'm not in rehab (zing)
- I have my voice. I'll always have that.